how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
