What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I will be naked everywhere
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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