I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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