She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
