I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
