The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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