can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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