i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Just took my morning after pill in the library
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
