Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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