You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
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