Pregnant stripper...not hot.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
