when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
