I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
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She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
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By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
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