You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
