doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
