You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
