i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
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Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
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I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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