it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
