You're so nebulous sometimes
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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