fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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