if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
