Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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