Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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