Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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