On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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