Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
