i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Randomize
