all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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