just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize
