i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Randomize
