worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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