Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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