drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Shame - the story of my life.
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