didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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