He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
