I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
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I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
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i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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