whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
So apparently I’m into choking now
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
