You just made me feel so damn special
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
