Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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