just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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