I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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