u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
