Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
You took a bar mat shot.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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