looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
