p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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