Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
well you can't waste a boner
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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