whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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