i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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