she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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