I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Randomize
