ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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