i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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