can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
