we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
