you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Randomize
