Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
