My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
