Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.