Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(810): View more from Michigan

My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?

(1-810): View more from Michigan

creepy.

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(810): My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago? (1-810): creepy. http://tfl.nu/125x

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(313): View more from Michigan

her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli

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(313): her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli http://tfl.nu/6z4f

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(325): View more from Texas

Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?

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(325): Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis? http://tfl.nu/utwq

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(917): View more from New York City

I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.

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(917): I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear. http://tfl.nu/517j

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(763): View more from Minnesota

Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue

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(763): Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue http://tfl.nu/sfb5

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(416): View more from Toronto

sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.

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(416): sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you. http://tfl.nu/2uqq

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(812): View more from Indiana

We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".

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(812): We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells". http://tfl.nu/8dsx

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(214): View more from Texas

We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now

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(214): We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now http://tfl.nu/hu2y

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(817): View more from Texas

I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.

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(817): I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy. http://tfl.nu/amvl

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(504): View more from Louisiana

seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.

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(504): seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams. http://tfl.nu/awr2

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.

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(774): I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded. http://tfl.nu/9sgj

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.

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(+44): I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning. http://tfl.nu/v2mo

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(812): View more from Indiana

Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts

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(812): Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts http://tfl.nu/1kvs

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(443): View more from Maryland

There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?

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(443): There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut? http://tfl.nu/irwu

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(440): View more from Ohio

Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!

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(440): Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack! http://tfl.nu/22h4

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