even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
