What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
